Big Boobs, A Buried Hatchet & Relationship Chaos (18-24 January)

Monday 18/1/88

A Life in Words

Palm Cove, with its view of Double Island

Well I was only just awake when Sharon rang. I got up & she wanted me to ride over, then we’d ride to Palm Cove. So I got ready & was just about to leave when mum got the mail: my QTAC stuff arrived. I’d gotten into Gatton – only the B. Tourism, tho’ (like Mark) so I’ve put down that I’ll defer, but I’d still like my higher preferences to be considered. Anyway, the ride was extremely hot and hard, and I nearly stacked it near Smithfield Shopping Centre. So I “collapsed” at Sharon’s and (as she was at Smithfield) when she came back I refused to get on my bike again. So Mrs Weeks dropped us at the beach (Palm Cove) and we lay for only a few minutes, on the beach (it was very hot – mum told me later it was 35°C at 10.30 this morning) then to Ramada for a swim. We saw Juliet’s Dad – Mr. P & Sharon talked to him. It’s so beautiful, that pool, that whole resort! The pool was very cool and the spa, although warm (hot!) was very “theraputic”! After that we lay for awhile in the sun, before “exploring” the hotel and then going down to the shop to get lunch. Back at Ramada, we swam again then hopped in the spa (talking to some English tourists) -couldn’t get  a word in edgewise!) out again, we packed up & went to the shop for last snacks, then tried to ring Sharon’s parents. Her dad took us home. I rang mum, chucked the bike in the ‘back’ [of the car] and at home, read my Gatton info properly. Got ready & went to TAFE – what a let-down: they don’t have a receptionist course at all. Great; so I’m going to have to get an ordinary job for this year. Huh. Well Mark rang around 6:00, 6.30 – and said he’d try to come over. I cleaned out my top drawers and watched TV. He rang saying he’d be late: and he arrived after 9.00. It was boring (especially & ‘extremely’ for him) We watched the Thorn Birds .. that was it: did nothing else, though I tried (well not really) then he wanted to leave straight after. I tried to stop him from going: he was joking around & I just got all choked up & started crying. I don’t really know why – I guess it was because he’s going soon, and we don’t, I think, seem to be spending enough time together. He got out & hugged (& kissed me) And he promised to ring me tomorrow. I need a good sleep.

Tuesday 19/1/88

Woke quite early (that’s becoming an annoying habit lately) but slept in. Was surprised when Mark rang at 9.30 (I thought it’d be 10:00 at the very earliest) We didn’t really decide on anything to do, but he said he’d come over. I thought ½hr…but he rolled up a little later: and I mean rolled: on a bike (he rode here) A Life in WordsWe had a really good day surprisingly enough – water/hose fights … annoying & tickling while watching cricket: was really fun! And when he was going to go, he rang his mum (to pick up the bike) and asked if I could stay, so we mucked around till his dad came, then I hurriedly packed a bag (forgetting the bloody meds & pill) At Mark’s, we mucked around; didn’t really do much: did a lot of kissing, tho’…. most kissing we’ve ever done in one day …YUMMY! Watched cricket … exciting Aust. win! We went to bed at 10.00 or so, and well, talked & kissed till 12.30. Talked about us: not the ordinary relationship stuff, but the sexual side …communication! [privacy omission] I couldn’t believe that: I always thought they [my boobs] were average but he said he always thought they were big. He said [privacy omission] Anyway it was about 12.30, when I climbed back into my bed….

Wednesday 20/1/88

Woke early, around 7.30, again, but managed to doze awhile …Mark was very sleepy. He finally had to get up around 10.00 when Steven arrived. A Life in WordsI lay and listened to some tapes (he wouldn’t let me listen to the Hungry4Hits+1 [privacy omission]) then had a shower. After toast (& an uncomfortable ‘hello’ to Steven) [I’m not entirely sure why I felt uncomfortable? But then, I think he was someone I’d never truly felt comfortable around…] I watched TV, then because Mark wanted to go with Steven to Earlville, he drove me home [privacy omission] Said he’d ring me about what he’s doing tonight. So I unpacked & watched TV, and listened to music for most of the day. Theresa Lauren & Christie were at home when I got there (Julia was babysitting) Julia is being very badly affected by [privacy omission]: very cranky – snaps at you for no reason. Of course, I snap back because it annoys me. Fiona & Joannah (long lost friends!) rang me today. Fiona wanted to go out, and asked me to ring her back when I’d decided. Watching cricket, I fell asleep then Mark rang about 6.30 (earlier? Yeah, 5.30, sorry) and said he was going out, but to Scandals, instead. So I rang around to try to find out who else would be going out. It looked grim. But Fi said she’d come at 9.00. I got ready & we went & picked up Trevor, Matt & Steven G. Up there, Nigel was outside & Keith said they were being really strict on I.D. Fi & I waited awhile then she walked in with Willie & I on my own, totally ‘unhassled’. Was a bit empty inside I stood talking to Tania. Did a fair bit of dancing, before Mark turned up: I was by the airconditioner. with, get this: Nicole, Juliet & Jude, when he walked up & gave me some big passionate kisses… A Life in Wordsthey all walked off! Ha! I didn’t see him much; he got drunker & drunker & seemed to have less & less interest in me. Steven left, but Chris & Mark stayed. I was ‘lost’ … running around either Jude, Juliet, [privacy omission] or Megan. Fiona danced with Trevor nearly all night. Everytime I saw Mark he said he was going. Was he trying to get rid of me? Then this girl came up & dragged him to dance with ..ugh… Belinda K and he danced for ages then, he went to the toilet & I greeted him & we danced, found $2 & got a drink each. [Hmm, clearly still ‘Dollar Nights’ were still happening, not yet ‘illegal’…] [Privacy omission] also talked to me: He said sorry & I said “NO!” I was sorry for not talking last week. Anyhow – we buried the hatchet. Mark kept going to talk to Belinda & her friends. I was a bit hurt & annoyed – talked to Tania. Then he, Chris & Keith went outside. So, did it seem, did the whole of Smithy’s. Outside with Fi I saw [privacy omission] fighting someone, then further down the carpark – [privacy omission] they got into someone’s car & left. I felt so exhausted: bored, tired and annoyed, hurt & depressed about Mark. Finally Fi took me .. well, Matt first, then Trevor, but we had to go back to see if Steven G. was still there. He wasn’t & when Trev. got out again, I lay down & dozed off. Woke hearing [privacy omission] interrogating Fiona. I pretended to be asleep. Then, when she dropped me home – we talked. Then, I got into bed at 3.40.

Thursday 21/1/88

[Last night] I talked to heaps of people: Steven S, Stewart P, Richard O’S, Wayne C & Kel B, Tania (of course): people I wouldn’t (well except Tania, Kel & Wayne) normally talk to. Anyway, [today] I woke before 9.00 & couldn’t get back to sleep so did ‘nothing’ (listened to Bruce Springsteen) while waiting for Mark’s call. I was going to give him until 11.30 to ring & when he hadn’t, I tried – but the phone was engaged. I got through at 11.45 and he told me he was sore (ribs & ear) and that he went to Casualty at the hospital, last night, to check his wounds. A Life in WordsHe head-butted the guy, [privacy omission]. He thought he might’ve had cracked ribs so they went to hospital. I felt really sorry for him & said I’d be over ‘soon’. Got there during DAYS OF OUR LIVES, sometime and we just watched TV all night (I mean, afternoon) I went before he went to the dentist (or just as he was leaving) and he said he’d ring me when he got home. At home, I rang, who was it? CB & [privacy omission]! (I ‘christened’ their new phone) and talked for ages! Then Mark rang soon after & we decided I’d go to his place. On the way there I remembered I forgot meds, so we went to the shop… Julia saw Mark, so he saw us (he waved, she said) so we went back again (he saw us again, though) and got chocolate & lolly-gobble-bliss-bombs.A Life in Words Mark was waiting on the steps when I arrived and asked why we kept driving around. I produced the “goods” and he said silly girl! We watched TV all night (well, till after Moonlighting) when Mark wanted me to ask him Trivial Pursuit Q’s… but ended up watching Dallas, instead. Went to bed without kissing or talking (he didn’t seem to be talking to me)….

Friday 22/1/88

I remember waking briefly at 3.40am & wanting to wake Mark to wish him Happy Anniversary, but deciding against it. [Er, very good decision…] We woke quite early and the mucking around was a bit rougher. [privacy omission] I got a bit upset when he didn’t respond after that at all, & got up & walked out of the room. I heard him shower, then I got up, went to the loo & asked for a towel. I accidentally let Tippy [their dog] out and felt worse after that. I had a cry in the shower. Out, he was making breakfast & when he’d finished his, asked me if I wanted any. “NO.” I was watching TV. He sat down & mucked around with the Trivial Pursuit game, then asked if I’d like to play “Yeah”. So we did, and it was better after that. I asked for lunch, after Keith left [privacy omission]. Sandra made me a tunafish sandwich. I was shitty with Mark. [Here I have omitted details of his behaviour towards me]. So I did & it HURT. It hurt so much. I sat alone then Sandra & Mrs. W. went out. I watched cricket and cried. then I went in his room – [privacy omission] I asked what was wrong, why he was doing this to me – what did I do to deserve it? A Life in WordsHe said [privacy omission]. FUCK HIM. He got all shitty back last year when I joked about him leaving the hospital – he took that seriously – he overreacted and I wasn’t half as mean – [privacy omission]. He is a CONTRADICTORY PRICK. HE HURTS ME SO MUCH. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was the first time he’d been like this since he’d been back – since we even broke up in September. WHY? I gathered I was suffocating him again … he was seeing too much of me. (We could never live together [well hello, glaring hint…] – it’d kill me – much as I’d’ve liked to) So I apologised, [WTF… why?] said I’d call him. [I’m not sure if you can fathom exactly how painful this is for me to witness and ‘re-live’: my blindness, weakness, (stupidity?) attachment (addiction) and tenacity is beyond mortifying. It’s glaringly obvious now how unhealthy the relationship was – for both of us – but it was an imperative life experience.] Mum came & I was only ‘silent’ at home for a little while. Rang Mima – she got back this morning! So mum dropped me round – I have no present for her yet, she didn’t give me anything, anyway. She (nor anyone) seemed not to have put on weight, [I obviously had it in my head that everyone who holidayed overseas should gain weight? I’d made similar comments about Mark upon his return as well…] though her face & hands were much paler. [Uh, der… Europe in Winter; not a lot of sunbaking going on…] She dropped me home after 6.00 & I rang CB. She wasn’t going out, was home on her own & asked if I’d like to come over. I said yes. There, around 8.00, we listened to music & talked & wrote in her Euroka [the Cairns High school magazine/yearbook], after I rang Mark. He seemed O.K. again… again we talked for awhile. I mentioned Cameron visited me, and he thought I meant at CB’s (Ha,ha!) No! Before I left for CB’s! (He’s going Thursday, to the Gold Coast)  A Life in WordsSo we got a delivery pizza & after 11.00, we watched RAGE although CB fell asleep.. I soon did too … kept dozing on & off (mostly off) At 2.30 I woke her (well she kinda woke at the same time I sat up) & we got ready for bed. Then she started talking again..

Saturday 23/1/88

We woke a little after 7.00. I rang mum at 7.35 (sat watching RAGE TOP 50, while CB got ready for work, before mum picked me up) At home, continued watching Rage & Jo rang during INXS “Need You Tonight” A Life in Wordsto say how stunningly similar Mark was to the drummer, Andrew Farriss; [we had previously noticed and marvelled at this apparent coincidence back in August 1987 (see here) whilst attending their ‘Kick’ concert at the showgrounds] we didn’t really have much else to say to each other, otherwise. Watched the last of it (Faith is no# 1 again – yay!) and spent the day listening to music, doing scrapbook but mostly NOTHING. Rang Fiona after 4.00- talked about Mark: then rang CB – she said she’d ring [privacy omission]. I rang Mark after 5.00 & he wasn’t extremely friendly. Said he’d watched videos today – went to Keith’s and they went to Nicole’s. [Privacy omission]. Then he refused my offer of the movies, saying he might go with Keith to the Drive-In. Didn’t invite me [privacy omission] BASTARD. I hung up & tried hardest to ring Fi (engaged for ages) Then I bauled on the phone. She says I should forget him: [privacy omission]. I rang [privacy omission] & she rang Nicole who told her she was going to the Drive In. Great. “Liar”, I thought. I rang him up, using the excuse that [privacy omission] was going to pick up the Trivial Pursuit. He wasn’t going. Oh. So I watched TV & eventually rang him again. This time he was going. HURT. Anyway, he said he’d ring me tomorrow. so we’ll wait & see if he remembers. It’s only 8.35 – there’s nothing on TV tonight – I’m alone. Seems everyone’s out – Mum & Julia at movies with Cynthia, mima, Fi & Sue, Brent etc at the movies, Mark at movies and CB, [privacy omission] etc at 21st party. So I’m going to have an early night – maybe wake later to watch some Rage (on my TV) [Wha…? ‘My’ TV? We must have bought our new little Sony telly so I inherited the old 1970’s Rank Arena set …that still required knob-tuning to change channels, volume, etc!] Mum just rang to say she’s coming soon. I’d like to be asleep by then. A Life in WordsPretty bloody horrible day today, but I might go to the beach tomorrow & definitely to Beach Party Nite at the Playpen at night. Oh, and Mark’s ringing …(?!?)

Sunday 24/1/88

Well, I woke around 8.30 and thought immediately of Mark (of course) Decided to wait to ring Fi and watched cricket, but 9.30 was too late as I found out: she’d just left for mima’s. I waited (must’ve been longer than I thought) to ring mima & there was no answer cricket was off due to rain. I rang again round lunch time, but still no answer. “Great”, I thought. So much for sympathy for Elissa. So I watched TV all day. (yeah, cricket came back on) & was just finishing writing to Gatton about deferment when Mike & Cynthia came. Luckily was not long till [privacy omission] & CB (& Pol & Peter) dropped by & said “we’re going to Crystals”. I grabbed a towel & with a short singlet dress & no shoes, felt like a big dag. Picked up Sharon, then at Crystals walked right up to near the top & eventually only stayed for about ½hr (it was cold). On way home, stopped in.. CB, [privacy omission] & Sharon looked at photo albums & school magazines & my scrapbook while (& after I’d finished) packing. Then we went to withdraw money for Sharon, but she’d left her cashcard at home, so [privacy omission] drew some of hers. FOOD from Kentucky Fried, then muck around back at [privacy omission]‘s. Tasha & Lisa C came up, as well as Matt & Trevor. I rang mum & found out Mark apparently said “Where is she?” and Julia said “I don’t know, but she won’t be coming home tonight.” So. What was I to do? I felt sick thinking about it – CB said yes, [privacy omission] said no – what should I do? I left it too late anyway: We were running late as it was. Got to Double Vision just before 9.00 – Megan was there, but not alone – with Ashley & ..Jo! Yay! But Ashley & Jo went home. At first, Sharon, CB & I went up, but CB & I were rejected. I produced false school I.D. & she just accepted it. CB luckily got in on a change of bouncers. then she & Sharon had a really ‘hot’ cocktail [called a ‘Zombie’ and “hot” in that it was – like the ‘Explosion’s we drank at the House on the Hill nightclub – consumed while alight] & were blown away. Guess who we saw? And who went up to talk to? A Life in Words(CB & Sharon) DANNY ROBERTS! From Sons & Daughters! – Andy Greene!! [Who? Until I found a photo (right) I was coming up blank…] But I stayed with [privacy omission] & Megan cos’ they weren’t ‘chasing’ him [I’ve always despised the ‘groupie’ thing; hanging around people for their fame seemed so shallow to me.] – I got bored instead because they were after this other guy. Remember Tyler N? He was there and god, is he hot?! YUMMY. When it ended (well, you should’ve seen the wet Tshirt competition- this horrid guy was standing near me coaxing me to go in it, saying, “you’ll make a killing. If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Stupid shit.) [Creep.] We went to a 24hr & [privacy omission] stole 2 blocks of chocolate. I was smoking & spinning out!! CB & Matt (W) had a big chocolate fight & [privacy omission] was not impressed. We dropped Megan home and got ready for bed at [privacy omission]‘s. Then I was writing my diary when CB started reading it, cause she was trying to ignore [privacy omission] – it really scared us for awhile – he was scraping a rake against the windows, then hiding. It’s 2.00 and I’m finally finished! Yay! But I’m not even real tired. Guess I’ll have to ring Mark soon (tomorrow) Mph! God I hate Nicole! [Nah, you’re just intimidated by her.] I guess CB & I’ll be talking for awhile now…. G’nite!

Boys’ Behaviours & Grooming in the Garden (27 October-2 November)

Monday 27/10/86

Went to aerobics tonight – was great – very tiring, but great. 2 times a week, I’ll go; get fit & stay on this diet. Am tired now. Is about 8:50. Cooler tonight although the expected minimum is 23º; same as last night – the days are still rather hot. Rained a bit tonight – hope it does, more. Riding tomorrow. Periods, I think, will finish quickly – hope so!! Um…big lunch was good. Didn’t talk to Mark today . . but all (practically) lunchtime he was there. Fi, Monique & I sitting near their end [as in most schools, the are ‘territories’ akin to ‘unwritten codes’. Year 11’s in general occupied an undercover space that spanned the length of one of the classroom blocks above which was the library. The ‘popular guys’ sat at the very northern end, the ‘popular girls’ immediately next to (the south of) them. We usually sat in that general region, but at this particular point in time, it sounds as if we were sitting a little further north, closer to the boys.]; A Life in Wordswatching & laughing at the antics of Steven, Mark, Keith, Cameron & Chris (not David, tho’) they’re so funny – Cameron’s bag in the tree – Keith breaking the branches, Steven wearing Cameron’s sunnies, Steven’s badminton raquet broken, Mark’s shuttlecock … it was all so funny – wondered if Mark really does like me. Feel good! Had little dinner (had some pineapple passionfruit pie today Monique made me!!! [shift the blame, Elissa!] Not much

Tuesday 28/10/86

I really don’t know what to think. I really like him. I really wish he liked me a lot. Oh, I can’t tell. It’s not fair. [Uhuh. Life’s not.] I rode. Yes, I  am sore [from aerobics]. Mostly the upper arm and shoulder area. I am also rather tired. Very. I think, if I’m not riding again tomorrow, I ‘ll get mum to drop me to school, late. Otherwise I sit there, glancing, waiting for mark to show. I don’t want to do that. [The best thing about this is I know it wasn’t due to self consciousness – being concerned that people might notice me looking out for him. It was more about not wanting to be a slave to my feelings, if that makes any sense? Basically, I think it’s a sign of my deep-seated, as yet undiscovered Independence – or as some may read it, fear of commitment?] What’ll I do? Hot again, today. Homework is so hard- gonna start study this weekend with Monique (wanna go out, too, tho’!) Why? Just to see Mark? (Yeah, I s’pose you’re right. . .I’ve got to control it) Yep! Get it outa your system – think negative – HE HATES YOU. Great!!! Some gorgeous hunk needs to fall head over heels in love with you … and you with him. Diet? Well, I still dunno how much I’ve lost. But will keep it up- I like it!! Is 9:20 Must go to sleep. Bags under my eyes. So much work to do.

Wednesday 29/10/86

About 9:00 now. Went to aerobics this arvy, even though Monique didn’t. Found it a bit easier – quite a bit easier today – still sweating heaps tho!! [The perfect example of something I try to communicate to people who don’t exercise: training is actually easier than you think. The first session will always be the hardest, but it’s downhill from there … unless you’re ‘not doing it right’.] Bio test – blech! I don’t think I done well!! [I think the double exclamation marks here illustrate the fact that I was deliberately using poor grammar] (Mark didn’t even know it was on (or so he said to Chris)) I laughed at him.A Life in Words When I asked greg for paper, Mark’d say – “no, don’t give her any”…etc & do the forks!! I really must try to forget him – get interested in some others. Unrequitted love – like Steven. [privacy omission here] (That makes me wonder…) […about? Oh, whether he hates ME. Again. For the hundredth time.] still haven’t started my final assignment. GET MOVING Lissa. Not losing weight – must exercise more huh?! [Not necessarily, dear. I didn’t know back then that muscle weighs more than fat.] Riding tomorrow. Is rather hot (very) Got some rain today & tonight. I must think I’m ‘FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE  [with regard to You Know Who…] Night!! Mum dropped me to school today – Lazy!

Thursday 30/10/86

Did not find out my biology mark. Did very little in art, blundered on blindly & hopelessly in maths & chem. Did not do any HW. My english assignment due before 3:15pm tomorrow. When will I do it? God, I’m a dickhead! Monique dropped all her stuff; doona, pillow, clothes, food, HW etc off this arvy. A Life in WordsAlso, during bio while video was on, I saw Mark write a note to Duane & then, getting it back, scribbled it out with a black nikko pen. I was very curious (He’d been out of school grounds before school, during double tutorial, little lunch & big lunch) so, after art period 7, raced back & got the note. [You nosy little….!? I can’t believe I behaved so ‘creepily’!] A bit skint – he was downstairs when I came down. Talking (Fi, Sharon, me & mima) to him, Cameron, Steven & Terry before bus came. Finally on bus mima deciphered it throughout the nikko… “I HAVE (then scribbled out) …[omitting the message for privacy reasons].” Naughty Boy!! Is 9:50. Mum dropped me to school again this morning!!

Friday 31/10/86

Oh woe! I am tired. Talked a (very) little this arvy – but mostly to Cameron. Boring day. Got english done & handed in at big end of big lunch. Monique got 2 done … wrote 3 paragraphs for the last one, UMAH!! Mum drove me to school again. Is about 10:40, must get to sleep soon – want to do all work tomorrow and go out tomorrow night & to the Beach on Sunday. Real ragey!! [I wonder when I stopped using that word? I hope it’s soon, it makes me cringe as much as the perpetual thoughts & whining about Mark.] Wanna sleep soon Mum & Geoff are home now. I really want to sleep. Study tomorrow – HW outta the way. I am tired. Now it’s 11:05…. Monique keeps talking so it’s taken me ages to write this. dunno what to write (busted my diet tonight – hot dog, dip, chips, lollipop – she-it!) Hope Mark’s at House on the Hill [nightclub] tomorrow night!

Saturday 1/11/86

So much for all the HW and study we were going to get done today! Monique sat in the back yard – I did  little chemistry, she shaved her legs [I have such a clear memory of this. One of the defining memories I have of her; sitting in the sun with a bucket of soapy water & the razor], I did no maths, we had a water fight & washed our hair under the hose. Got a little burnt too; fi called a few times. About 8:00, mum took her, monique & me to monique’s then dropped us at the video shop. [I wonder what my mum ‘knew’? I can’t imagine that she would have allowed us to go out. My guess is that we fed her a lie about watching videos at Monique’s…because we didn’t own a video player ourselves.] We walked back. Monique had a shower – we all decided what to wear. What could I wear? I eventually gave up and just watched the video. Monique & Fi were ready – make-up, hair etc. Finally Fiona dressed me. We got a taxi there around 12:00 Waited for ages in the carpark till we finally walked up… rejection! I couldn’t believe it. We walked away  And sat on the steps… wishing the guy’s’d come out…guess what? Chris K & Glynn came out!!! Unreal!! After about ¾hr, we attempted again…  a synch!! signed […and turned the page over to Sunday, to continue….]

Sunday 2/11/86

the book [the statutory declaration ‘book’ in which you declared you were 18 years of age or over. Yes, it is laughable. But that’s how ‘easy’ we had it in those days 😉 ] and went in. Monique & Glynn came in when Chris’d gotten someone for fiona – david d!! Everyone was in Smithy’s [a quieter bar inside the nightclub] Mark, Steven, Cameron, Keith, Ben, Brett Hinds…. So many guys. Saw Sharon, being a bit of a snob. Sat down at the table. Monique, me, Fiona, Steven, Mark, Cameron, Chris, glynn, brett & ???Keith(??) A Life in WordsAnyway I thought Mark liked Fiona – talked to her a lot … went outside – bought a jug of beer. We eventually followed … there ended up (mainly) me, fi, moni, mark, Cameron & brett. We had a drink & danced & sat. Was good, but I was really depressed to begin with…I really think he likes Fi. I was sad. Almost started crying when my song “True Blue” came on. [A perfect example of the depressive power of alcohol…] He was dancing with Sharon then (sort of similar to how we danced last time) He danced with me tho’ when Cam. went – we ended up only ones (from our group) on the floor!! But it was a stupid song. We sat… talked little – gave me a flower – I was collecting the ones cameron was throwing away. Finally, we caught a taxi. got home, monique & I, and mum & jules were up. [Okay, so… was mum shitty? I don’t understand. Maybe she DID know we were going out? If that’s the case – my mum ROCKED!!] Went to sleep. Got 4 hrs. did nothing, really Slept a lot. Cherie & Amanda came over. We didn’t go to the beach! Is about 8:40. Take 40 Australia. RELAX!!!!! sleep

Six Sea Shells, Water Fights & ‘Hopeless Devotion’ (20-26 October)

Monday 20/10/86

I saw him (properly) once. And he smiled (I don’t know if it was to me but) he was looking at me at the same time. And keith was friendly enough – more so than Mark – but that’s just natural. I spent 3rd, little lunch, 4th, 5th & big lunch in the art room. My picture’s complete but I hate it. It’s boring. It needs something different. I hate it & I left my theory booklet in the art room so I haven’t done the theory (rang Monique to get the Questions) – God he’s gorgeous when he smiles!! (MW) A Life in WordsAlso started weight watchers today – was surprised how un-hungry I was!! Only got  abit near dinner time. Otherwise amazing!! Waking early to do sea shells [the art assignment I was struggling with. We were expected to create a piece with the ‘uniform’ title Six Sea Shells]. Do what? God only knows!! Is 9:55

Tuesday 21/20/86

Got a lift to school again – got my theory part finished just in time. Woke early-ish..did the picture; added tracing paper & cellophane. Am pleased with the end product. My theory I rushed during double bio, art & little lunch. Saw little of Mark, but think he was looking at me. Sharon reckons so, too – as well as Steven. (?? hope!) [← am not certain that that was the word I meant – I couldn’t decipher my handwriting] Big lunch – the first free one (really) since I’ve been back at school. In the Daily Sun in the Library, (Taurus) mark’s starsign read; “You will have a change of heart for someone or something.” Someone!! Me?? Hope! Yummy gorgeous! Stevie’s cute too [“Stevie”??!]. Is 9:10 – coulda bin in bed ages ago fooling round. Travers rang me 2nite didn’t know what to say. Six sea shells finished – now have english oral & assignment + chem + maths + STUDY for exams

Wednesday 22/10/86

Yes! Yes! Yes! I think he dropped Nicole tonight. He was looking at me. Also talked today a bit – great!!! Then tonight we talked even more. I think I can tell!! Did no HW. Sharon’s staying over – late notice. Decided at the dance – so she didn’t have to go home early. Hot it was. A Life in WordsRemind me to have a shower in the morning so I don’t stink. [Ooookaaay] Didn’t have much HW anyway. Finally got my bio mark back 35/40 Wo!! Still lotsa work to do. We talked a lot! I think I’ve realised the problem. I couldn’t hack it if Mark didn’t like me ever. I’m hopelessly devoted I think. [Yeah, that sure is a problem. The best news is that feeling changed!] Rode today. Rode home on own to make pants for the dance & I love ’em! Is [here I forgot to actually note the time]

Thursday 23/10/86

Yes! I did talk to him today! End of big lunch, before biology in 6th period And yes, I think he really does like me. Had fun at lunchtime today.. Angie, Fiona, Justine, Sharon, Donna, Sandie, Monique all ate mangoes from the big tree in the walkway down the centre of the school (I hate them) [not any more, they’re one of my favs now] & back at our area, Sharon & Kathyanne had a water fight. Got Asti. Were all sopping wet. All the guys & us girls were watching. They were (the guys) going to get me so Travers said. They got Fi when the bell went. Then Mark told me to come over “Fiona wanted to talk to me.” She said she didn’t – but I saw Steven with water so I ran. Yes! I was meant to be that target too, but Fi got it again. She was satched [a slang abbreviation for ‘saturated’]A Life in WordsDuring 7th p. started raining. Poured till about 6:00. Great rain!! Shoulda had an early night. Is 9:40. Got only 5 or so hours sleep last night. Sharon rode home on my bike at 5:50. Mum dropped me to school yet again.

Friday 24/10/86

Today we went downtown during period 4, 5, big lunch & 6th (& ½ of 7th) to clean off windows. Before that nothing happened except that I stuffed up my oral [english speaking assignment] totally. And I’m not going to repeat it [coz I detest “speaking in public”]. Walked downtown – mark, nev, Steven & keith right behind us. They, (mark, nev & steven) swam at Granada [a hotel] pool. I talked to him & steven. They disappeared then reappeared later. Talking to us, then steven started a fight – Mark & Steven against me with dirty (green) water. So? Who cares? [←not sure what that means] Then, walking back to school, Mark had a jet-spray gun. [Perhaps that’s what they went to get when they ‘disappeared’ earlier?] Chased me now & then Monique just walked. Stayed in art room for remaining school time – went for a walk – came back & mark & Steven had hidden our bags. Found them. Got changed and that was it. SO HOT. Glad I talk to Mark every day. [It had been a LONG time coming…the courage, the ‘opportunity’…] Does he really like me a lot? Beka’s staying over – came over primarily to see me – talking so much asked her to stay over.

Saturday 25/10/86

Beka left early. I spent the whole day writing the letter to Delanie, all about Mark. Get this → 32 pages long! Cherie & Petra (& Amanda) came over in the arvy. I love talking to Petra. I like Cherie a lot too. Got periods today. Anyhow, after I finally finished the letter (in a rush – I was so sick of writing it) I talked/thought about it. Writing that “history” and hearing it all again shed a different light on my feelings towards mark.A Life in Words I think, more like hope, that he really does like me more than other girls, in a different way. It’d be beautiful. I think I love him. He means almost everything to me at this point in time anyway. [Such a ‘romantic’.] Is 10:00. Wanna sleep in. Did little HW tonight. Have an english assignment left to do yet.

Sunday 26/10/86

Not an interesting day. Dad came around 11:00 [to pick us up]. (Before that I did some HW) I watched TV there. Oh! Besides that, I actually went for a walk on the beach [he and Jenny lived at Holloways Beach] for about 1 hour with Jules, during which I ‘leaked’ & I didn’t know till I got back. It was rectified, however. God its hot! Anthony, when I first saw him said to me “Liam wants to root you.” I couldn’t stop laughing (I didn’t know what to say?) [I seem to be stuck for words often. I’ve always been one of those people who thinks of a comeback or witty remark long after the moment has passed.] I always thought Liam hated me! Remembered how the others talked about him .. how he’d also screw [privacy omission here] if he had the chance. well, well…!!! [He’s a teenaged boy – isn’t that what most of them want to do?] Is only 8:00. Am going to bed. Did not even start my final english assignment, nor any study. Boring at dad’s I really really really [the third ‘really’ actually had a double underline under it. REALLY!] hope Mark likes me a real lot; and differently to all the others. That would be love. [Really?!]